he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
