I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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