She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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