Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
