I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize