I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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