i jhust puked up my retainher.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
