I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
