I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He passed out mid-signature
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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