I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
