mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
where does the pee come out of this thing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize