Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
