i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
