Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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