im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
