if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
