So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
whose parrot is this?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
