Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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