hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
