He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
