well you can't waste a boner
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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