their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize