I think I am morally bankrupt
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
