I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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