I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your penis caused this!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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