member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
