I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize