Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
