My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
