i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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