Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
