never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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