I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
