I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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