I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
