it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
