So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This baby is an asshole
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
