btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
