Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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