well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Did I show you my penis last night?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
