Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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