Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How external is "for external use only"?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
