He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
