I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
