I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
