I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
