Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
