Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
