I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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