I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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