i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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