The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ladies don't puke and tell
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
