I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
