Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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