he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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