yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
