She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I currently don't understand fingers.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
